Saturday, April 20, 2013

18 months old...1.5 YEARS OLD!!

My precious monkey is now a year and a half! Lord help me!
Aubrey Lane you are 18 months old and boy are you a mess! You are talking up a storm and I am constantly amazed at how much you understand and can communicate with me. Your temper tantrums are getting better now that you can tell me what you want more effectively.

You know exactly what you want and are not afraid to voice your sweet opinion. You love to tell me "no". Most answers to any questions will be "no". Aubrey do you want a snack? "No". Aubrey do you want to go to the store? "No". Aubrey do you want a million dollars? "No".

You are sleeping through the night (a good 10-11 hours). You have a nightly routine of taking a bath, putting on jammies, getting a sippy of milk and watching Curious George. We then say prayers and I lay you down for bed around 8:30. You are usually up like clockwork at 7:00. You will stand in your bed and yell, "Aubrey get out"! It's hilarious...although not really at 7:00 in the morning.

You wear anything from 9 months all the way to 18 months. You are still in a size 3 diaper and a size 4 shoe.

You are a tricky eater. One day you will eat great...the next you won't touch anything. You HATE meat. You refuse to eat chicken, pork, steak, etc. You love fruit and anything sweet. You also love pasta and bread. As soon as I think I've figured out what you change your mind on me! One thing I know you love is cheese! You finished off a whole bowl of queso dip at Las Palmas! HAHA!

You still hate riding in the car and that is the main source of our tantrums. We keep a spanking spoon near the carseat for dire circumstances. Really getting you to sit in the carseat and eating your food are the only times you get spankings...for the most part you are an easy baby!

You love to be outside...getting muddy, playing in the sprinkler or pool, swinging, riding your bike...that is where you are happiest! I find myself sitting outside with you for hours and we have the best time!

You are such a joy Aubrey Lane. You are truly my little buddy and I love that your little personality is shining through. You make me laugh like no one else can and I just love your sweet smile!

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Moving Forward

Life moves on. I've learned that no matter what heartache or pain you are dealing with on a personal level...the world around you moves forward. The world does not stop to mourn your pain or halt to embrace your sadness. Perhaps this isn't a bad thing, if life didn't continue on, we might never find the strength to get back in the saddle. 

I'm gonna be honest, these last few weeks have been tough. Dealing with a loss is not something that goes away in a few days. I struggle to find meaning of it all and there are days I just want to stay in bed and cry.

Things are getting better little by little and I am finding strength in the little things. I'm trying to focus on all the millions of blessings I already have instead of the negatives.

Miscarriage is a horrible thing. Losing a child, no matter how young, is a terrible thing for a mother to endure.

My heart breaks for others who have had to walk this road. My heart breaks for moms who have had to bury children that have spent years with after do people move on from that?

I don't know how people make it through tough times without the Lord. He gives me a peace that could only come from my heavenly Father. In my times of grief, I cry out to Him and He me peace and comfort.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

My heart is healing...I am moving forward, but my love for my baby will never cease. I'll pick up the pieces and find joy and love again...but a part of me will always be gone.

In the meantime, I'll continue to find joy in the little things...peace in my Saviour and hope in a new tomorrow.