As far back as I can remember, I recall being a fearful person. My parents had to tell me there was no Santa at age 5 because I was petrified of waking up to a stranger in my house. Presents or no presents...a strange, fat man is not my idea of fun! And don't even get me started on the Easter Bunny. Talk about being scarred for life at the thought of waking up to find a huge, 8 ft bunny at the foot of your bed...I mean...that's traumatic people!
Darkness was another one of my fears. I honestly slept with a lamp on all night long up til my teenage years. I refused to sleep with the lights out, and a small nightlight would just not suffice.
Now days, my fears are different but no less profound. I find myself fearing for my family. I fear losing my husband or child and being left without the ones I love. I fear sickness. I can't imagine myself or one of my family members having to deal with a life-threatening illness. Shakes me to the core. I fear financial burdens. Myself or my husband losing our jobs or our security. I fear failure and rejection, the possibility of messing up or making a wrong decision.
I fear not being able to live up to the faith that I proclaim. It's easy to have faith and dedication when things are good, but what about in the hard times...am I going to fall flat on my face or will I have the strength to cling to my faith and stand firm? Those are real things I struggle with and fear on a daily basis.
While contemplating these fears and thoughts, I've felt God repeatedly saying, "Ashlee, I'm not in those fears." I feel the Lord gently telling me that He isn't a God of uncertainty or insecurity. He isn't a God of doubt or distrust. He is a steadfast God who longs to prove Himself faithful. Yes...I may fail and I may falter throughout life but He won't. He may allow one of my darkest fears to come to pass and I will probably fail to demonstrate my faith properly, but overall He will remain. He will be my rock when I'm not capable of standing. His truth remains no matter what. He is not going to let me down and that my friends is the only things that remains certain in a world filled with changes, uncertainty and trials.
I am confident in Him alone. I'm definitely not putting my trust in myself. I can't even put it in my family or friends because we are all human-we mess up. But God remains who He is. He won't change or let me down no matter my circumstances. Even if I don't want Him to be there...He will be...and I'm so thankful for his steadfastness and commitment to me.
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7
You ought to read Angie's story if you have a moment. She is one amazing woman. I can only hope to have faith like hers in difficult times.
Since I've found this book so amazing, I want to bless one of my readers with a copy of the book What Women Fear! I've never done a giveaway so this is new to me! I only have about 5 readers...so you have a good chance of winning!!! All you have to do is leave me a comment and perhaps share a little about what you fear and how you overcome those fears. Maybe a verse you find comforting or uplifting. Even if you don't have a blog...you can still leave a comment and your email address so you can be entered! That's it! I'll set the deadline to enter for Thursday, March 8th.
Whew...that was a bit heavy but it's a truth I want to be able to read again and remind myself of in the future.
So just to lighten the load a little (no pun intended) here is Miss Aubrey Lane's laundry progression. Sweet girl is fascinated with her feet so as you can see they are in route to her mouth.
Me me me! :) I also struggled with fear a lot growing up. Fear of rejection & fear of failure, mainly. As an adult i mostly dear with fear of something happening to brad or another family member. And still, fear of failure.
ReplyDeleteI have a giveaway on my blog, too, though not quite so spiritual. :) It's on my Happy Birthday to me (& Dr Seuss) post! :)
I would love to read this book. My biggest fear is something bad happening to our baby. It took us 2 years to get pregnant and I pray daily for her health!
ReplyDeleteI fear not getting approval from others. I'm still working on trying to overcome through prayer and soaking myself in God's truth.
ReplyDeletefamily74014 at gmail dot com
I tend to "what if" too much...which in turn causes fear in whatever area of my life I'm thinking about. I have to remind myself that I have absolutely no control over what ifs in my life. It's all about the here and now. I frequently quote Philippians 4:6 "Be anxious for NOTHING, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the PEACE OF GOD, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
ReplyDeleteoh girl, i fear....everything! you name it, i'm probably afraid of it. fear is definitely something i struggle with. especially now that i have babies. it's such a double-edged sword, because having kids makes me that much more fearful, but then it also makes me want to overcome it that much more because i do NOT want to pass my fears on to my girls.
ReplyDeletelove your honesty in this post and love that sweet aubrey laney. she looks so tall in her basket this month!
Ashlee, I think this is a great post. So many of us, even our husbands, deal with fear on a daily basis. I have so many fears... weather, safety, sickness, crime, driving... well you get the picture. "Fearless" by Max Lucado stays on my night stand. I have done a lot better with it, but last year when I was pregnant with Aubrey Lane, my husband became overwhelmed with fear of something happening to me and the baby. I had to literally call him and check in all the time to let him know I was okay. So EVERYONE goes through it at one time or another.
ReplyDeleteAnd how sweet is your Aubrey Lane! I can't believe how quickly both the Aubrey Lanes are growing. Hope the house hunting is going well too!
Ashlee, I read this book a few months and loved it! It was so powerful. I agree that it's something we all struggle with and it changes once we become mothers. Some things, I worry about less such as the way I look or the cleanliness of my house. Other things, I worry about more, job loss, health issues and other things that are completely out of my control. "Do not be anxious about anything" is my verse that helps keep me centered.
ReplyDeleteAshlee, Can you tell me how to get the watermarking on my pictures on my blog? You can e-mail me at Believe02@aol.com I would really appreciate it!
ReplyDeleteI actually have this book already, but haven't opened it yet! In my defense, it came about 2 months before the wedding and I was in the midst of moving and planning. :-)
ReplyDeleteHow sweet is your baby girl!