My best friend Kayce gave me the book What Women Fear by Angie Smith for my birthday and I have been unable to put it down. It is one of the best books I have read in a long time. The book is broken up into chapters based on various fears, such as fear of the "what if", fear of failure, fear of death, fear of rejection and many more. Angie has a way of writing so honestly and with complete vulnerability. Her lack of perfection and humor at herself is so comforting and easy to relate too.
As far back as I can remember, I recall being a fearful person. My parents had to tell me there was no Santa at age 5 because I was petrified of waking up to a stranger in my house. Presents or no presents...a strange, fat man is not my idea of fun! And don't even get me started on the Easter Bunny. Talk about being scarred for life at the thought of waking up to find a huge, 8 ft bunny at the foot of your bed...I mean...that's traumatic people!
Darkness was another one of my fears. I honestly slept with a lamp on all night long up til my teenage years. I refused to sleep with the lights out, and a small nightlight would just not suffice.
Now days, my fears are different but no less profound. I find myself fearing for my family. I fear losing my husband or child and being left without the ones I love. I fear sickness. I can't imagine myself or one of my family members having to deal with a life-threatening illness. Shakes me to the core. I fear financial burdens. Myself or my husband losing our jobs or our security. I fear failure and rejection, the possibility of messing up or making a wrong decision.
I fear not being able to live up to the faith that I proclaim. It's easy to have faith and dedication when things are good, but what about in the hard times...am I going to fall flat on my face or will I have the strength to cling to my faith and stand firm? Those are real things I struggle with and fear on a daily basis.
While contemplating these fears and thoughts, I've felt God repeatedly saying, "Ashlee, I'm not in those fears." I feel the Lord gently telling me that He isn't a God of uncertainty or insecurity. He isn't a God of doubt or distrust. He is a steadfast God who longs to prove Himself faithful. Yes...I may fail and I may falter throughout life but He won't. He may allow one of my darkest fears to come to pass and I will probably fail to demonstrate my faith properly, but overall He will remain. He will be my rock when I'm not capable of standing. His truth remains no matter what. He is not going to let me down and that my friends is the only things that remains certain in a world filled with changes, uncertainty and trials.
I am confident in Him alone. I'm definitely not putting my trust in myself. I can't even put it in my family or friends because we are all human-we mess up. But God remains who He is. He won't change or let me down no matter my circumstances. Even if I don't want Him to be there...He will be...and I'm so thankful for his steadfastness and commitment to me.
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and
self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7
You ought to read Angie's story if you have a moment. She is one amazing woman. I can only hope to have faith like hers in difficult times.
Since I've found this book so amazing, I want to bless one of my readers with a copy of the book What Women Fear! I've never done a giveaway so this is new to me! I only have about 5 readers...so you have a good chance of winning!!! All you have to do is leave me a comment and perhaps share a little about what you fear and how you overcome those fears. Maybe a verse you find comforting or uplifting. Even if you don't have a blog...you can still leave a comment and your email address so you can be entered! That's it! I'll set the deadline to enter for Thursday, March 8th.
Whew...that was a bit heavy but it's a truth I want to be able to read again and remind myself of in the future.
So just to lighten the load a little (no pun intended) here is Miss Aubrey Lane's laundry progression. Sweet girl is fascinated with her feet so as you can see they are in route to her mouth.
7 hours ago