The Three Rings of Marriage

The other night, Soon to be hubby and I were watching Jon and Kate plus 8…(if you happen to run into Soon to be Hubby, please do not mention that I admitted he was watching this with me. He would not be happy with me for revealing that tidbit!) Anyway, after the show, on which Jon and Kate reveal that they are separating and moving forward with the divorce process, I turned to soon-to-be hubby and said “how does it happen that a couple goes from being in love, having children, and sharing intimate moments to not speaking, refusing to be in the same room, and having such distain for one another?”

It really got me thinking about marriage, and more specifically, my responsibilities as a wife. I want my hubby to want to be around me. I want him to enjoy coming home to me. I want him to miss me when I am not there. I don’t want home to be a place he dreads coming to, but rather a place of love, laughter and enjoyment. So I asked myself, “How do I provide that kind of environment on a daily, monthly, yearly basis?” I know marriage is not easy. I know there will be times when we will want to pull each other’s hair out. I am not naïve to think it will be all fun and games, all the time. However, I do want to do whatever I can to make our marriage one that is solid, strong and successful.

These last few months of engagement I have made efforts to ask women that I trust and admire, to give me their advice or words of wisdom regarding marriage. So many of these gals have emphasized what major a role that the woman plays in making the marriage successful. I am discovering that my attitude, demeanor and words are so powerful and have such a big impact on the marriage. When I make a conscious effort to be sweet, understanding and patient I can see and feel the difference in the atmosphere almost immediately.

So much advice has been given to me, so I thought I would write down a few of my favorites.

1.) Let the little things go.
2.) Tell jokes, laugh often.
3.) Be open… to compromise, to suggestions, to experiencing new things. A marriage must evolve to survive. (this one in particular is going to be a challenge for me!)
4.) Meet in the middle... Of the conflict…Of the issue…Of the bed.
5.) Cook hearty dinners for your hubby on a regular basis (whew…this one will be hard for me too) (sure hope Soon to be Hubby likes turkey sandwiches!)
6.) Get outside…take walks, play sports, have hobbies.

Oh, and how can I forget the wonderful tip my dear friend gave me…

The three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering!

The joys of marriage are going to be endless! I cannot wait to embark upon this journey with soon-to-be hubby. I hope that when I read over this list in a year or two, I will be able to add my own bits of advice to the list and use it as a reminder to never stop working towards being a better wife and friend to my hubby!