Life is flying by at rapid speeds and my eyes fill with tears at the thought of how quickly your little life is passing me by. I fall apart emotionally just thinking that you will be in school in a little over 2 years. That thought alone is enough to put me in bed for a few days.
A friend of mine lost her husband a few years ago, leaving behind a precious 19 month old daughter. She later found an email account that her husband had set up for their daughter and was amazed to find that he had been writing and sending her emails all throughout her life. Simple day to day things he wanted to tell her and things he wanted her to know when she was older...having no idea that he would pass in just a few short months. Can you image how much that little girl will cherish those words written from her daddy...just for her.
Since my blog is so dear to me...it is a written, solid piece of our past and our journey in life...I decided to post my letters here to you. I think of my blog as a tiny gift that I can give to you and Weston...a chance to look back and see where we have walked and where we are headed as a family. There is comfort and security in knowing your story. It's a story that we are writing together on a daily basis. A story of trials, tests, times of joy and lots and lots of laughter.
There are so many thing I want to say to you, Aubrey. So many things I want to instill in your little heart. Lessons I want you to carry with you along your journey of life...even if I'm not always by your side. I want you to always, always remember a few foundational truths from your momma and I intend to write to you periodically so you can look back and cherish my words. I write these to you today, knowing you won't read them until later, but I vow to talk with you about these on a daily basis and hope that they are planted deep in your tiny soul...so that one day you will flourish and grow into a mighty young woman.
Today you are at the precious age of 2.5. A very fun age that is best described by curiosity, challenging moments and cuteness. You are so full of life...you radiate zest and passion. Everything is a new adventure and nothing is boring or dull with you. May you always feel that way about life, Aubrey. May life never become mundane or boring to you. Continue to seek out fun adventures and be curious about things that you've never seen. I believe with all my heart that your passion for life is going to take you to amazing places.. Okay...enough chit chat...here is this letters nuggets of truth that I want to share.
Lesson #1: You are absolutely beautiful just the way you are. You will grow to become critical of your looks, your body, your flaws...but girlfriend I am telling you...you are gorgeous. Now don't misunderstand me...your inside is way more important than the way you look on the outside, but for today I want you to know that when I look at you...I see pure beauty. You have beautiful blue eyes that hold wisdom and knowledge far beyond your years. You have the most precious little freckles that speak of your individuality and uniqueness. You have full, pouty red lips that will one day speak the word of the Lord to listening hearts. You have the most feminine little hands and feet that will one day allow you to fulfill the works of your destiny. Everything about you, Aubrey, is beautiful. Know that God made you and He did not mess up. Never doubt your beauty, Aubrey...never doubt for a moment that you are the most gorgeous thing God has created. You are valuable, treasured and enough.
Lesson #2: Your daddy and I are not perfect. We argue and fuss and make mistakes. And then we will make some more mistakes. Never once will we claim to be exactly what you need... all the time. We are selfish and sometimes will let you down. We will mess up as parents and fall flat on our faces at times...but know this...our love for each other is strong and we will weather every storm together. Know that your mommy and daddy's marriage is one that will not be torn apart. We stand on a rock solid foundation that is Jesus Christ and He alone cannot be shaken. We will without a doubt have fights amongst ourselves...but more importantly we will always fight to stay together.
Lesson #3: Your kindness is contagious. Just this morning, I sat back and watched you "baby" talk your little brother. You continued to sweet talk him, comforting his little cries and then proceeded to put his noonie gently (this is rare for you) back into his mouth. I sat back, almost quick to rush us on and out the door, but instead savored this little moment. A moment of tender kindness and love. It warmed my heart, but even more so it spurred me to want to show kindness to someone else. Mommy is in need of constant reminders to be tender and kind...it's just not something that is instilled deep in me. I tend to be tough and sometimes harsh. However, seeing your kindness did something to me...it urged me to slow down and think of how I could be a blessing to someone else. Never for a moment think that kindness isn't noticed or spread. You can be a light in a dark world. Your kindness for others is what will point them to Jesus. Your simple acts of kindness are what will leave a lasting impression on the hearts of those who are hurting. I hope in the days ahead, you and I can practice doing kind things for others. Remember sweet girl...kindness is contagious and will change hearts.
Aubrey Lane, may you know you are my sunshine. You make me laugh more than anyone else on the planet. Your potential is so great and I can't wait to continue to watch you grow and blossom into an amazing young girl. Keep these simple nuggets with you as you go...you are beautiful, your mommy and daddy are in this together and your kindness is contagious.
I love you, Bre...